Not a setback. No, really. I swear.
Justice comes for us all, of this I am certain.
It cannot be escaped, cannot be convinced to wait or that it has the wrong idea.
Our day will come, sure as the sun rises.
These days are so valuable. So precious. Why allow them to be filled with such venom?
Why spend what little time we have spouting criticism and hatred? For Justice? It comes for you, too.
We learned in Sunday School to refrain from taking the speck from someone else’s eye because hello? We have a PLANK in our own. Judge not, lest ye be judged. Keep your head down, work on your own junk. Worry about yours, let others worry about theirs. And yet some find a sort of solace and comfort in dragging others down. In questioning their motivations. It’s easier to have a conversation about Octomom and how ridiculous she is with her poor choices and awful example than to look at our own lives and see the poor choices and awful example we are setting for our own children. That’s painful. Why would we do that? Why indeed.
I suppose it’s easy to point at someone else and say “your motives are wrong. Your reasons are wrong. Your behavior is unforgiveable.” I wonder, though, if that’s because nobody has ever offered that person forgiveness? Do they know what it feels like to be completely and totally free of all condemnation for choices made and pain dished out? Do any of us know what it feels like to be so deserving of death and destruction and find only mercy when we look up from the pile of goo we have melted into? Oh, what a day to discover there is mercy and love waiting for us when we fully expected judgment and pain.
I’m angry and hurt, but not because someone spoke out against me. I’m used to that and put very little stock into it these days. Consider the source, I say. If those speaking out have their lives together and are perfect in every way, then by golly I will eat up their advice and sit at their feet waiting for them to dish it out. But because that is not the case, I can tell them to respectfully kick rocks and keep my focus where it belongs. Maybe it’s God I choose to focus on. Maybe my children. Maybe it’s aliens. Whatever. My point is that there is only one qualified to sit in judgment and post their opinion on my decisions and, well, I’m pretty sure God doesn’t have a Facebook account.
Still here, still working on things. Still not giving up.
November 27th, 2009 at 12:30 pm
If there’s something I’ve learned, it takes a lot of courage to own up to your own mistakes, big or small. It doesn’t take much courage at all to take pot shots at others or sit in condemnation. I’d rather be a friend to an imperfect person who is all too aware of her own shortcomings but knows the path to take to make herself better any day. We all make mistakes, and I just hope the day I stumble and fall in a big way there is someone there to pick me up and support me rather than gathering their friends and acquaintances together to point out everything I did wrong and judge.
November 27th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
True, God doesn’t have a Facebook page. Probably a good thing, too. Just do what you NEED to do. Listen to no one but your heart and your God. that’s what counts. You’ll get through this and when you do, you’ll find true friendships, relationships and peace within yourself. THAT’S what matters, love!
*HUGS*
November 28th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
It’s hard. It’s really hard.
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:21 am
You say above “Worry about yours, let others worry about theirs.” if you really feel that way then why open yourself up here to what people say and think. You have a choice. If you “worried about yours” then you would be working on YOU, and not open yourself up on the internet. Your conversation would be with Jesus and he would speak to you. Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you. So if you know this, then you know where your answer is. You want unbiased female support, find a good women’s group or ladies bible study at a church. Don’t have one, find one.
December 7th, 2009 at 11:01 pm
I actually don’t say “worry about yours, let others worry about theirs”. My philosophy, if you will, is not quite so detached. I open myself up on this blog because it is the nature of a BLOG and why I began one in the first place. I need to express my feelings and things that are going on in my life. Sometimes there will be amazing support and love. Sometimes there will be harsh criticism and difficult attacks. The latter might make me want to quit alltogether and question my motives for ever doing this to begin with. Some have thought my blogging was hurtful to my children, specifically when the details of recent situations came to light. But I’m here to tell you my children do not have access to my blog which is why I am ok with posting my true thoughts and feelings. As for my conversations being with Jesus, you can rest assured He and I are having many conversations, mostly just me listening and trying to understand what He has planned in this great mystery called Life. Reading this blog is a peek into my life, not complete access, therefore you cannot possibly know how much time I spend seeking first His kingdom. More likely, you come in when all these things are added and I have a testimony to share. I’m not looking for answers. Not from commenters. I’m simply posting my feelings, my thoughts and the happenings in my life that those who follow might find interest in. I am not interested in unbiased support, but rather well-rounded and solid-thinking people who can see more than one side and leave comments designed to invoke good thinking, not just toss personal insults. I think you’ll find that a ‘good women’s group or Bible study at a church’ has just as much potential to lead me astray as a bunko group at a bar. It’s all about the people involved and their level of spiritual maturity. I am seeking wisdom. And right now I am seeking it from the only source that is unfiltered, unflawed and completely unbiased.