In approximately 30 minutes, I will officially be a non-smoker.

 Until then, I’m outside pretty much the entire 30 minutes finishing my last pack of cigarettes.

Like so many of the others in the Quiteratti, I thought it might be a good idea to review the many reasons I have chosen to give up this nasty habit. UNLIKE the other members, I am sticking to the August 15th date rather than holding off until after the weekend. They have their reasons. Other than being a total follower, I don’t.

So here are the things I’m looking forward to once I become a quitter:

1. The Mr. will actually WANT to lock lips with me-He’s a tolerant man, but this dirty little habit has pushed the limits of his tolerance. He’s polite, most of the time, but pretty much refuses to give me  more than a little peck. I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t want to make out with a dirty ash tray. Pansy.

2. I won’t have to perfume/lotion up when I get to the church before worship practice-Sure, they’re pretty non-judgemental, but there’s something that feels really sinful about showing up at church after crushing out a Marlboro or two. I don’t necessarily hide it, I just don’t want to advertise it. And it feels…dishonest.

3. My singing-Some of those notes I have suddenly found myself unable to hit? Yeah…I am SO going to hit them. And pronto.

4. The kids will stop badgering me about quitting-This one’s a doozy. Nothing makes me feel guiltier than the 11 year old looking at me with alligator tears saying, “Mommy, when are you going to quit? I don’t want you to die!”. Just one more point for me toward the Mother of the Year award. And being around to have them change my diapers? Priceless…

5. Speaking of prices-$$$$-Yeah that money could buy me a new guitar within 2 MONTHS of quitting. Cigarettes cost nearly 5 bucks a pack! 5×7=35 bucks a week, 140 a month. $280 could buy me a decent guitar. Or a really awesome new tattoo. OH…and check THIS out…in 142 months, I could buy that NEW BASS BOAT. Or maybe just some new gear. Gosh I could think of hundreds of things I would rather spend money on than stinkiness.

6. On January 1st, all public places in Oregon will become NON smoking. That means going out to karaoke will be easier on the Mr. (he hates being in a smoky room all night) and those who continue to indulge in smoking will be forced OUTSIDE to do it. Always ahead of the curve, that’s me.

7. I think the most important thing for me is ONE more toxin I’m not putting in my body. Fibromyalgia is not one of the most documented disorders, but one of the things that all the research seems to point to is keeping our bodies free of toxins and preservatives. Avoiding the food sources has not only helped me rely less on the Vicodin, but I’ve also lost 20 lb.

8. No more excusing myself to go outside in the middle of a movie. At home or otherwise. No more asking if it’s ok to light up on someone’s bass boat. No more raised eyebrows when people who have no idea I’m an addict see me go outside, shaking and rummaging through my purse to find that pack of smokes with 2 left in it, smeared with lip gloss and with a tiny patch of gum stuck to the filter. That is desperate, my friends.

 9. Three cheers for lung capacity! Yes, I have been exercising (thanks for the inspiration, Karen Sugarpants!) and, while I push pretty hard through my gasps for air, it will be nice to have more stamina to continue with my efforts.

There are hundreds more reasons, some big, some small. But every one points to the same thing: It’s time to give it up for good.  Please bear with me for about 2 weeks while I speak in gutteral voices, turn my head 360 degrees, spew pea soup and otherwise become a raging bitch. I hope you’ll understand that’s not me. It’s me exorcising my demons. One of them, anyway.

 Good luck to all of the Quiteratti! We can DO it!

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