Yes, it’s been a long while. A very long while. About a year or so, I think.
And yes, the blog is in the process of redesign. I think it fits my new way of viewing myself and the world around me. Much has changed, and most of it for the better. Such good things happening now, and while I haven’t been able to keep up with you all, I have missed you very much.
So let’s recap. When last you tuned in, I had finally given up on my marriage of 12 years, after pouring my heart and soul into it for the last 5 or so. I had a brief emotional breakdown with much counseling. I moved in with the man who had scandalously been my lover for 3 years, off and on. My divorce became final. I started back to school for the first time in 20 years, in pursuit of my Bachelor’s degree in nursing.
I am incredibly proud to tell you that I have achieved a 4.0 for every term since returning to school, and am set to graduate with my Associate’s degree (transfer degree) in June of 2012. I will then be headed to nursing school. It has not been easy, but the long nights and huge assignments I obsessed over have definitely paid off. I’m beginning to see all the things I have that nobody will ever take away from me, and my confidence in myself has increased a hundred fold. While engaged in my studies, I discovered that, not only do I love Spanish as a language, I also love the people in the Latino community, and will be pursing a minor of Latin Studies in addition to my Bachelor’s of Sciences: Nursing.
Yo gano (“I am winning”).
I am still cohabitating with L., and while we are not always perfectly blissful, I can say without a doubt that he is the perfect partner for me. We are passionately in love, and take the job of caring for one another very seriously. The fact that I still smile when I fold his underwear tells you how new we still are, but we are both confident that this is the life we want-a life with one another.
There have been several bumps in the road; my children “hate” him (rightfully so, when he was partially responsible for their lives changing forever, but unrightfully so when he reminds them to empty the dishwasher), neither of us completely agree with the other’s style of parenting, and we are both so scarred from our previous relationships that we tend to dig our heels in and refuse to give an inch, after giving so many miles. We have tense discussions, then take some time and regroup, coming back to the conversation with the intent of solving the problem in a way that works for both of us. Which is entirely NEW to both of us.
There are a few issues that will never find common ground between us; He will never be ok with how far I will allow the kids to go before I put my foot down, and I will never be ok with him still financially supporting his ex, though they haven’t been together in over 2 years. In fact, it’s all I can do to keep from starting a fight every time he hands her half his paycheck. But…this is something I have no control over, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to let go of things I cannot control.
Overall, things are spectacular. I am happy, healthy, and loved. I hope this post finds you experiencing the same.